one of those days.

It’s one of those days. One of those days where you feel like nothing could get any worse. Until it does… One of those days where you wish you could just curl up in your bed and sleep for weeks. One of those days when you think that even God isn’t on your side (even though he still is). One of those days where you feel like you could just blog for hours!

For over a year, I have been looking forward to, getting ready for, praying for, hoping for, getting excited for, and revolving my life around a mission’s trip to Uganda,Africa. My best best friend kenzie and I have been waiting for this for what seems like eternity. We sent out letters, did fundraisers, saved for months… gave all of our time to pursue what we thought was going to be the trip of our lives. We thought we were ready, ready to fly across the world for God’s glory… but it came too soon. A week before we were about to leave, there was a bombing in Kampala which was the place we were supposed to land and stay for a couple days. We got a call from our Youth Leader who told us to pray for this trip because we were still planning on going, despite the safety issues. We all knew we were still going to go because we had been getting ourselves ready for over a year. But were we being selfish? Not thinking about the lives that had been taken because of the bomb? Wanting to go for the experience and forgetting our purpose? AFRICA. What an amazing experience it would be. But was I ready? After many arguments, a TON of prayer, and loads of phone calls…. We got the final call that our trip was cancelled. Was that it?... One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life is hang up that phone… but why?


A couple weeks later we got another call that our trip was going to be rescheduled to Spring Break. How exciting, right?!! But NOT the same. All our pain and effort was shut down and it was hard to let God pull us back up again. But again, was I even ready for the second time??? My heart has always been in missions and I love children and I Love serving the Lord.


So where do I stand right now? I honestly have NO clue. We have talked about taking the trip with four of us instead of a team of around 10 people. .. but there are safety issues… and SO many dilemmas. We have thought about choosing a different place in Africa to go or going with a team to Costa Rica. I still have all the money that people SO generously donated and I feel like I let everyone down… the (extremely expensive) plane ticket is non refundable so I have plane credit to go wherever in the world I want… I feel like all the prayer that had been put into this has gone down the drain. Does everything really happen for a reason? What good could come of this. I don’t know. I don’t know…. And that’s all I can say right now … Love you all. Goodnight.


My next blog will be happy. I PROMISE :)